May 24, 2023

Satan's having a good year. The fallen angel may have annoyed God, but now there are Satanist clubs in schools around the country, and Target just hired a Satanist to design their Pride clothing line to celebrate LGBTQ-whatever.

The Satanist designer at Abprallen, Erik Carnell, is a gay, trans man who designs shirts that say, "Satan respects pronouns." So that's a relief, Satan-Inclusion-wise. They would probably sell real well at the U.S. State Department with their new pronoun-preferred-e-mails.

Target's LGBTQ clothing includes sweatshirts with slogans, "Too Queer for Here," and "Cure Transphobia, Not Trans People." And paraphenalia that makes it possible to bind up body parts that you want to bind up, and swimsuits that accommodate boy/girl transitioners.

Obviously the designer is a big Satan fan. "Satan loves you and respects who you are," he said about trans people. "You're important and valuable in this world and you deserve to treat yourself with love and respect. LGBT+ people are so often referred to as being a product of Satan, or going against God's will, so fine. We'll hang with Satan instead."

And to think. All Americans want to do is go shopping and pick out a cute shirt for their kid. Well, that ain't about to happen at Target. Or, we hear, at a Dodgers game.

Hang tough.